"Please just accept it Aragon"

“Please just accept it Aragon”

“Please just accept it Aragon”

2 weeks ago
  1. Gandalf: Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the king.

    Denethor: What if we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week?

  2. Now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help, I’m being repressed!

  3. Elrond: Cast it into your hands. Use it!

    Aragorn: No

    Eldrond: Not again…

  4. Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of political science?

  5. Oi, who’s that then?

    I dunno. Must be the last in the line of kings.

    How can you tell?

    He asn’t got shit all over him.

  6. Strange elves distributing swords is no basis for a government, but a strange lady in a lake is. Ah, the irony.

  7. Boldly brave Sir Boromir rode forth from Minas Tirith,

    He was not afraid to die, oh brave sir Boromir,

    He was not at all afraid to be killed by Lurtz’s bow,

    Brave brave brave brave sir Boromir,

    He was not the least bit scared to be filled with giant arrows,

    Or to have his heart destroyed, or his rib cage broken,

    Or his horn cut in half, and go over the falls, and his daddy is mad, and his brother is fucked,

    And his penis…

  8. Gandalf: “Now come the days of the king. May he…”

    Random citizen: “We didn’t vote for you”

  9. “I call on you to fulfill your oath”

    *”Go away you son of a silly person, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries “*

  10. Aragorn: Old woman!
    Elrond: Man!
    A: Man, sorry. What knight that lives in that castle over there?
    E: I’m 6500.
    A: What?
    E: I’m 6500. I’m not old.

  11. I think he should give the sword to whoever has the best story. Ans who has a better story than Tom Bombadil

  12. Then Elrond just rides away whilst Bilbo is using the coconuts behind him

  13. Having immortals around might have some effects on claims of succession, really. Like Elrond can honestly say “I know this guy is the rightful heir because I’ve personally known every member of his lineage dating back to the last enthroned king of Gondor, and many of my associates in Rivendell can corroborate.” Hereditary kingship isn’t such a great system, but it isn’t the elves-handing-out-swords part that’s broken!


  15. we need free elections decided by popular vote in middle earth.

    Sauron 2020

  16. I’d kill for a monty-python esk reimagining of the LOTR trilogy

  17. > You hear that Mr. Aragon ? That is the sound of inevitability …

  18. And that’s when Uncle Elrond decided he had had enough of Aragorn’s shit, and proceeded to stab the son of Arathorn 32 times in the chest with Anduríl, the Flame of the West.

  19. The Dead Men of Dunharrow a day later; “Help! I’m being repressed!”

  20. If this is where the monarchy is headed count me out. Out of service, out of Gondor, I wouldn’t hang about.

  21. Elrond’s act of legitimisation is the equivalent of the UK House of Lords suddenly deciding to give legitimacy to a long lost descendent of Harold II ahead of Prince Charles.

    Denethor’s ancestral line, on the other hand, has held dominion over Gondor for over 900 years.

  22. “Wot you think just cuz some elvish bint chucked a sword at you, that means you have supreme executive authority?”

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