Of course meat is on the menu.

Of course meat is on the menu.

Of course meat is on the menu.

2 years ago
  1. (when Amazon’s new show drops its first trailer)

    “Looks like Tolkien’s back on the menu, boys!”

  2. Allow me to be the spoiler of fun and point out that you’re all imagining an orc menu to be at a fancy Italian restaurant or an Americana bistro. This would not be the case. Probably, the menu would be a chalkboard with two or three items on it on the side of a field kitchen, with a miserable queue of tin plate wielding orcs dredging through the mud to get a helping of grey water, chicken bone broth, giblet curry or rancid custard.

    The orcs would sit about on rocks and in the mud itself slowly grinding away at their meals, pacing themselves so as to fill their bellies properly, as it will be a long time before they eat good orcish food again. Maybe to pass the time between bites they will swap tales about their wargs back home or show off their Clan armour. They might reminisce over whimsical days raiding or frolicking in the blasted canyons of Mordor. They may share a brotherly moment tearing the weaker orcs limb from limb for extra sustenance. They might even have a tradition of returning to the field kitchen with the remains, an arm, a leg or a torso thrown into the pot so everyone can partake in the gift. The cook would add it to the board, once more.

  3. But how the fucc does anyone know what a nervous system is

  4. Taverns serve food and ale. Therefore, they need a menu. Wizards, saruman and orcs would be familiar with the concept of a menu

  5. Are we all gonna forget cantinas still have menus? And any army would organize a place and time to eat, with people taking care of the food, the food would change depending on the day and time of year… almost like.. a *menu*

    Because menu is absolutely not a term reserved for restaurants

  6. Evident from his storeroom, he is used to living in luxury. I am just picturing an Uruk butler deeply annoyed with his assignment of bringing the menu.

  7. At the risk of spoiling the meme.. a “menu” was very regularly issued to Troops. It let them know exactly what they were rationed for each day, and provided some sort of variety. When times were tough the cook would cross out menu items that were no longer available.

  8. If Saruman is first in the order, maybe he was on a menu at one point.

    One number 5 Special, the white wizard in a tower please.

  9. Human restaurants existed with menus in the Tolkien universe at that time. Since many a human settlement has been raided by orcs, they’ve learned a few things about their culture. (assuming orcs don’t have menus at their own establishments, assuming they have establishments, but even if not, definitely very plausible to have learned it from other cultures while raiding)

  10. Looks like the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, boys

  11. Saruman was that first of his order. He picked a nacho appetizer to get everyone started.

  12. Menu is probably a word for what is for food in the chow hall

  13. I bet there was a nice cafe in Isengard for the orcs. They worked hard and earned it. I wonder if they had yoga rooms too like those fancy Silicon Valley companies

  14. The hundreds of extra votes he would of gotten if that had been real!

  15. In the book Beren and Luthien as kitchen is mentioned in which cats cook animals they hunted in order to serve them to Morgoth. So it would make sense if Sauron deployed similar means of energy intake. (Now I know the book isn’t canon anymore but we can still pretend the kitchen still exists.)

  16. Chef Saruman’s Kitchen & Bar Menu:

    Maggoty Lembas Bread: Made by the Elves, good for people wanting a quick meal.

    Denathor’s Fresh Tomatoes: Grown in Gondor, best to wash it down with Orc Blood.

    Orc Blood: One of Gimli’s favorite drinks, also very popular amongst cannibal orcs.

    Hobbit Legs: Main course. Made from the tastiest Hobbits from the Shire.

  17. I don’t think the orcs are using the word “menu” as the written paper with a list of dishes to select…
    They said “menu” as “diet”.

  18. Just imagined Saruman and Gandalf going to Starbucks.

    Gandalf (looks at the menu) : “I think I’ll get Lavender tea.”

    Saruman: “I’ll think I’ll get a Latte.”

    Gandalf: “Tell me.Friend…when did Saruman the wise abandon reason for madness?”

    Saruman: Throws croissant

  19. It was a dumb line that was added by the writers and wasn’t in the books. Orcs do not know what a menu is.

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