1. Go ahead, call corporate. Squeal! No ones gonna read your yelp review now

  2. Well the Uruk-hai were raised in Isengard, which before Saruman’s corruption was a very civilised place. It is later revealed that Saruman even had a secret stash of normal food and pipe weed, so it is absolutely probable that the Uruks had some sick banquets with three course menus!

  3. They don’t take orders from Mordor rats though.

    I wonder if they had lots of tourists from other regions who’d be allowed to order.

  4. There’s something deeply haunting about the thought of uruk-hai discussing what wine best compliments their meal

  5. “Menu” is merely the Modern English placeholder for an orcish word meaning whatever it is that doesn’t sound silly in relation to orc culture.

  6. Looks like a repost. I’ve seen this image 1 time.

    First seen [Here](https://redd.it/8ykbm9) on 2018-07-13 96.88% match.

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  7. Actually, the orc who say that phrase is a uruk, so he doesn’t have never been in mordor

  8. I’ve seen this post several times, and it always annoys me. Menus can exist without it being a restaurant.

    Kind of like a school lunch menu, it will say what’s for lunch, and you don’t get any choice besides what’s on that menu.

  9. They probably don’t have restaurants, they just speak the common tongue. I know the phrase “universal healthcare” but I don’t have that here.

  10. Not neccessarily; Tolkien himself claims he translated *The Lord of the Rings* from its original Westron into English. Even the names are different; Frodo’s “real” name, for instance, is “Maura”, and Merry is really called ” Kalimac Brandagamba”, with Tolkien taking the Westron word “Kali”, meaning “happy”, translating it to an English name that meant the same, and working from there.

    It is very well possible that the Uruk-Hai chief never talked about menus at all, but that the expression he used is most evocatively translated like that.

  11. >one does not just walk in

    One does not *simply* walk in, you filthy casual.

  12. Gimli has a couple references like this, that don’t really fit the world. I can’t remember any right now though

  13. Orc armies still eat, so they probably have quartermasters and cooks that prep food, maybe they are given choices depending on what food was available. “for breakfast we have gruel with maggots, or blueberry muffins”. Moral is still a thing with orcs, they aren’t automatons.

  14. 1. Those were Uruk-hai, so they probably learned cultured table manners from Saruman.
    2. You know those Mongolian barbecue places where you prep a bowl of spices and raw meat and they live grill it for you? Probably something like that.
    3. Bonus link to speculative [fantasy food rations](https://imgur.com/gallery/BWnHF).

  15. Well bars exist in Middle Earth (The Prancing Pony), they probably serve food thus likely have a menu. Maybe they raided an inn.

  16. Given their affinity to cannibalism, it’s probably a barbecue restaurant selling smoked orc.

  17. The Orc that says this line in the film is from Isengard, so there’d be no restaurants in Mordor, but Saruman had many guardrooms and store houses in Isengard, filled with human food, which Saruman enjoyed. Also, many men lived in Isengard and worked for Saruman, such as the Dunlendings. These Dunlendings and other evil men would have been to Bree (especially the Prancing Pony) serving as spies for Saruman, such as the ‘Squint-eyed Southerner’ . It’s likely they could have told their Uruk-Hai workmates of what they found and mentioned a menu.
    Also, Orcs were originally made by Melkor, out of Elves, through ‘sub-terranian heat and slime’, also possibly Maiar as well (though the Maia in orc form in the 1st age were classified ‘Boldogs’) Elves were born into the world by Eru and awoke with a general, though probably basic, knowledge of how to live and have a culture. A ‘menu’ could refer to a diet and basic knowledge of what to eat, and the Elves would have originally awoken knowing that. And so Orcs would be born into the world with a similar knowledge.

  18. mordor wasnt “JUST” a place for orks. it had humans as well as dwarfs. sure, they may have been slaves, but the point im making is that it wasnt all orks.

    ​

    with humanity in any medieval technology comes alcohol. humanity used alcohol as a way to convert piss and stagnant water into a drinkable foodsource. there is already orkish alcohol, which is given to the hobbits by the orks. throw in whatever foodstuffs were grown via mordor agricultural technology, and you have an absolutely unique culinary palette to paint your kitchen with.

    ​

    i like to think mordor cuisine is ridiculously similar to klingon cuisine. i can see gagh, bloodwine, and other “live” meals being extremely common.

    ​

    in fact, id love to read a book about an ork born to be a chef. if they are all born for a purpose, then surely there would be ork chefs born to specifically be chefs, right? would these dudes go to war? some… sure… but many more would stay in the homelands to feed leadership and newborns, right? slaves gotta eat, fresh runtlings gotta eat, right?

  19. They were most likely familiar with inns and taverns, ie prancing pony.

  20. If you think about it though, frodo and the gang go to the prancing pony which is essentially a pub. Presumably they serve food, so would the prancing pony not have a menu? And if so wouldn’t orcs also have their own versions of pubs. Which would have orcish menus. So theoretically they would know what a menu was. Idk though I’m high as fuck

  21. In Brie they go to a pub. Wouldn’t be a stretch to think there’s a chalkboard with some stuff you can order.

  22. I wonder how many people have independently come up with this idea, I for one was 20 and extremely drunk at uni, going up to random people in a club asking them their thoughts on the matter

  23. Middle Earth has pubs and inns that are clearly serving food. Those likely had a sort of official plaque or sign stating what was available for travellers to purchase, ergo menus exist in middle earth, regardless of if Uruk-hai have actually seen one.

  24. The Prancing Pony is a franchise, it has many chains over various locations in middle earth.

  25. So no Cheese Cake Factory in Mordor, no wonder they are so cranky.

  26. What if they’re an incredibly civilized race outside of the context of a battlefield?

  27. Orcs are said to be once elves torchered by Serron and turned to orcs. The knowledge of restaurants probably came from their elven days.

  28. They visit a tavern in the story. A tavern where there will likely be food, so makes sense they know what menus are

  29. Well you do make a point, but it’s not necessarily 100% correct. Orcs could also have visited a human town and found a menu type thing.

  30. Yes I’ll have the sautered goblin please with á side of poached spider eggs.

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